Pornographic, Senator? Pardon me, but I’m struggling to grasp the basis for your accusation. To me these appear to be nothing more than ordinary, plastic clown glasses. Toys. All these references to their revolutionary psycho-spectrometric lenses sounds suspiciously like advertising hype. You have yet to present substantive proof that the copper filaments embedded in the lenses are capable of actually performing any function at all. There’s no power source. Nothing attached to the filaments. No computer chips. Yet you expect us to accept that anyone who wears these glasses can then determine the darkest desires of anyone they look at.

In an effort to clear up all this confusion we had a team of well-respected researchers test your claim on 187 randomly chosen staff members. Each person was individually asked to put on this same pair of glasses, like so, and then look at Mr. Grange who is now sitting on my left. They submitted 187 markedly different versions of Mr. Grange’s deepest desire. In my humble opinion that reduces your claim to mere nonsense!

What we found far more interesting was that after further investigation the researchers were able to determine that each and every person who looked through these glasses reported seeing what was, in fact, their own darkest desire. Please then, Senator, would you be so kind as to once again relate to the audience exactly what you observed.

from “Die Strass” [The Road] filmed by Karl Grune in 1923